China Boat Song

January 31

Late start on Saturday. It was past noon before we got to the penis shrine. I’ve written about this before. It was high on my agenda when I read about it before my first trip to Thailand.

It sits in a shaded corner of the grounds of the Swissotel Nai Lert Park, a hotel in the high rent district not far from the Swiss and American embassies on Witthayu Road.

The shrine’s official name is Chao Mae Tuptim. According to a sign, the origins of the shrine are unclear, but at some point phalluses started to appear as offerings, so the place is now considered a fertility shrine.

It is much reduced from the last time I saw it, maybe four years ago. Great stacks of wooden penises with ribbons on them have been removed. So has an array of concrete penises on legs, each about the size of a piglet and having a penis of is own. Some of that stuff is recorded online from my last visit here.

Winter seems to be over. No more highs in the mid 80s. We’re back to the low 90s and what a difference those few degrees make.

After the short jaunt to the shrine, we were ready to hide out at the hotel for a while. So we did.

We took the escalator to the second floor of an air-conditioned building so we wouldn’t have to climb the stairs to the train platform.

When we came down from Nana station near the hotel, we bought a jar of fresh pomegranate juice from a street vendor. Joanna stayed in the room for a nap, and I went to the lobby to use the Internet. We’re supposed to get a connection in upstairs, but our room wifi doesn’t work.

We took off again around five to meet Larry in Chinatown.

We rode the Skytrain back to the Central Pier again. We took a water taxi toward the palace, but got off at Ratchawan Pier for Chinatown.

I sat on a bench at the pier to drink a can of Chang Classic beer. Joanna sat on a bench. Larry showed up a few minutes later along with Sanna, one of his buddies from Amsterdam.

Sanna was the driver of my one bicycle cab ride. She’s visiting Larry here and going to visit more friends in Australia in a short while.

Larry led us to a restaurant where we ordered an array of food: mushrooms with fried tofu, steamed grouper, ribs in brown sauce, tofu with minced pork, and noodles with crab.

Sometime during dinner we heard music coming from outside. It was a sharp rhythm punctuated by clashing cymbals. Joanna recognized it right away as a lion dance.

It continued for a while, so I went outside to see. There was no sign of a lion dance on the street. The music seemed to be coming from the garage next to the restaurant.

I took the shortcut through the garage into the next street, where four kids were practicing the lion dance to the accompaniment of a four- or five-piece traditional band. Chinese New Year is coming up on Feb. 8.

The food was very tasty and very salty, which set us up for our next stop.

A few blocks away is a craft brew bar called Let the Boy Die, which I think means “grow up.” At least, there were no whips or chains inside, and I didn’t see any guns.

It was very crowded downstairs, so we went to an enclosed, air-conditioned terrace on the second floor. It was quite a trip up. The staircase is narrow and steep, and most of it has no handrail. Some of the risers are missing. It was a challenge to get up there without spilling any beer.

I had a malty red ale (a little short on hops for me) and an IPA. They were both good, and the unusual thing about them is that they are brewed in Thailand, which is developing a small craft beer culture, something I learned only a week or so ago.

I had a can of beer on the pier, a double bottle of Chang with dinner, and two pints at the bar. I must have been tired because that was actually enough for the day.

Joanna and I took a cab back to the neighborhood of the hotel. The ride seemed to last forever. Joanna dozed off on the way. Maybe I did too, but we got back just fine.

Next morning Joanna wasn’t feeling well. She felt pretty bad, as in “what if I need a doctor?” She joined me for breakfast and felt considerably better after that. Still, she read it as a warning that she should take it easy for the day.

So I set out alone around ten to join Larry and Sanna for a canal boat ride. When Larry first told me about it, I knew it was something I'd always wanted to see. 

I'd seen this side of Bangkok only in movies. There would be houses on stilts, and inside them drug lords plotting revenge.

There might even be boat chases on the water. The boats can fly. I've seen that on film too.

Our ride was not a tour boat, but instead is free public transportation for the locals. This is a part of Bangkok where Farang are rare.

Passengers were checking us out. People were waving to us from the bank.

There was a narrow elevated walkway along one bank. It was shared by people on foot, bikes, and motorcycles. I don’t know why more of them don’t fall into the water.

The water is full of flotsam including dead fish. But people were out on piers with nets to get some of the fish still alive.

At one pier, perhaps a store, a man was throwing what appeared to be bread upon the waters. It started a feeding frenzy of black fish.

Along the way we saw various temple complexes, some apparently Chinese and others Thai. These things are just gorgeous. 

They have steeply peaked roofs with decorative carvings on the cornices. The walls are covered with golden traceries that look like lace and braid. The colors are vivid.

At the end of the ride, we went to a food shop not far from the pier. We shared something completely new to me. Larry picked up a plastic bag from a hook on the way in and handed it to the lady behind the counter. He got bottles of beer, and after we sat down, a couple of plates came to the table. One plate had green leaves on the stem. The other had shredded coconut, peanuts, chilis, chunks of ginger, dried shrimp in the shell, and pieces of lime with the rind. You put a little of each one on a leaf with some tamarind sauce and pop it into your mouth.

“Chew thoroughly,” Sanna said.

We also had a dish of mustard greens with the best crispy pork I have ever eaten. The fat layer was like a cracker and the meat as tender as a slow roast.

We took the boat back. I was surprised to see a little boy swimming in the polluted water. I was also surprised to see a Farang man standing on the bank. Maybe he lives there.

I went straight to the Skytrain to get back to the hotel and check on Joanna.

She was getting up from a nap when I came in. And it was time for me to take one.

By five or so, she was ready to go out. We walked down Sukhumvit and saw a Chinese restaurant, Tong Kee, and went there for dinner.

We stressed to the waiter “mai pet”—not spicy. The waiter had some English and seemed to understand. The sauteed morning glories came first. I sampled them. They were hot by my standards, let alone Joanna’s. We sent them back.

That must had gotten the message through, because the pork with kale and the next dish of morning glories came without a hint of chili.

We also shared roast duck with honey. The first taste of it was a little funny. By the third, I was really enjoying it. It must be a rapidly acquired taste.

The last time we had come this way, the night we met Mark for pizza, we had stopped at The Forge, an English-style pub that served an IPA. We were trying to remember where along Sukhumvit Road the bar was.

After dinner, we walked out and found it. It is next door to Tong Kee.

I had another East Coast IPA. I followed that with a short Heineken. What a contrast. The IPA made the Heineken taste thin and sweet.

Joanna was tired, but I was still rested from the nap. So she stayed at the hotel and I went to the American Bar & Grill. I asked Tom, the owner, about doctors. He said his family goes to a hospital, and all the hospitals are good here. He specifically mentioned Bangkok Christian, because he had taken his son there.

The son, not much more than a year old, if that, was sitting on a table tended by a lady. Tom left to put the boy to bed

Two Farang were at the bar when I came in. They were a loud pair of regulars. One, Steve, is a retired guy from Boston who has been in Thailand since last September. The other, whose name I didn’t get, is or was in the oil business and hails from Houston.

They both had just gotten back from a short trip to Vietnam, probably a visa run with a little sight-seeing thrown in. They said they had taken a tour that included the old tunnels from the war. The guide put them into a tunnel but didn’t go in himself.

The tunnel was tight, and there was no turning around. “I nearly had a heart attack,” Steve said.

They also showed me photos of a fishing trip they had recently taken with the lady who was tending bar. She showed up in a skirt and high heels.

The picture showed them with a Mekong catfish about three feet long. I asked if they had Dixie fried any of it. No, they said, it was catch and release.

I was comped a beer and Steve may have been comped three. I must have had four in all so it was time for me to get back across the courtyard to the hotel while I could still find the way.

It was a good night. And good night, all.

Harry

Feb. 1

The dish is called Mien Kom (Mee-in Com).

The canal is called Phasi Charoen.

Larry

Feb. 1

What is a Farang?

Peter

Feb. 2

It's a slang term for a foreigner. I think it is the Thai pronunciation of "French."

Harry